It is with sorrow that I write this article—not due to any tragedy that has impacted me or my family, but because of a profound sadness I have never experienced before. This sorrow stems from the deep pain of being separated from those you love. Many may know this feeling when they lose someone dear, and the anguish can sometimes be unbearable, leaving only memories behind. However, that is not the sorrow I am grappling with now. You might dismiss it or feel sympathetic, but what I am referring to is the sadness of sending your child off to college.
You may find it amusing and think it is an anticlimactic realization, but as I mentioned, this is a feeling I have never encountered before. It has been said that “the day a child learns to walk is the day they start walking away.” I never truly understood this until now. The weight of this statement becomes incredibly clear on the day they leave home. You might not notice it at first, but from the moment children take their first steps, they begin to explore the world around them. Their independence starts to blossom from that very first step.
If you have young children at home, you may not yet feel this sense of loss, as it is a gradual and slow change. However, change is inevitable, and it is the responsibility of parents to guide their children well in life. Normally, I am a calm and mellow person. I’d always imagined this transition to be smooth and manageable. People might say I am unbothered because I tend to remain composed in emotional situations. While I don’t lack emotions, I may seem that way. When my mother passed away, I felt a deep pain and wept uncontrollably for many days. Her memories flooded my mind as I tried to cope with my grief. So yes, I do have feelings, but today we are discussing college. It is a time filled with excitement and joy—a moment for our children to grow and become who they are meant to be. At the same time, it is a bittersweet moment, as the faces you were accustomed to seeing every day will now be absent. You can no longer look at your child whenever you wish. They are grown up. They are leaving the nest. They will learning how to fly.
You did your best in raising them, and now it is up to your children to put the skills and lessons you instilled in them to the test. They are embarking on their journey, and it is heartbreaking for all parents who must send them off. I know of a friend whose parents moved wherever their son went, secretly following him everywhere. That is not a healthy dynamic. There is a time to raise your children and a time to let them go. The difficulty is letting them go. It almost feels as if you are leaving your child in the den of lions. The unknown and unseen future awaits them, but it will not begin until you let them go. While this is necessary, it is also challenging. It is with this sorrow that I write this article, feeling the pain of knowing that in a few months, I will have to say goodbye to my son as he heads off to college. I thought I could handle it, and I never imagined it would hit me this hard. In this moment, God has revealed something to me that I had never considered before.
We often focus on the tragic event of the cross. Most of us know the story and worship God because of it. Many assume that God the Father was angry at His Son, Jesus Christ, during His judgment for the sins of His people. Others may envision the Father feeling sad and helpless, unable to remedy the situation. However, I believe the Father’s heart was filled with satisfaction. A long-awaited culmination of His Son’s redemptive work ascended to Heaven as a pleasing aroma to the Father. He was pleased with the sacrifice, as the offense against Him was suddenly redeemed and justified. This aligns with Old Testament sacrificial rituals, where burnt offerings were presented to God as a pleasing aroma. Jesus was a beautiful offering presented to the Father.
But how does this relate to sending off our kids to college? While the Father felt pain over His Son, it was not during the crucifixion itself; rather, His deep-seated sorrow came when He sent His Son from Heaven. We often reflect on John 3:16, which states, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.” We glance over this passage, not thinking twice about the gravity of this send-off. The Father, who had never been apart from His beloved Son for even a moment in eternity, faced the heartbreaking reality of having to separate from Him. It pained the Father’s heart to know that His Son would not be by His side. He understood the necessity of the incarnation and knew what had to be done for the sake of sinners. He was fully aware that His Son would bear the burden of sin upon His shoulders. Yet, the source of the Father’s sorrow was not simply the work that needed to be done but the distance He would experience from His Son, even if only for a moment.
I know I will see my son again, as we are fortunate that he will attend college in the same state. We are only a few hours away from visiting, and we can always connect via FaceTime or phone calls. Still, there is something inherently difficult about watching your child leave the nest. It doesn’t feel right. Other cultures maintain close-knit family units throughout their lives, and I often think that is what God intended for families. The family of God will live together forever in the age to come. However, the experience of separation after so many years together is challenging and requires adjustments. As parents, we must learn to move forward and entrust our children into the hands of the Lord. It couldn’t have been easy for the Father to let His Son go. He knew it was only for a moment and that it was necessary, as the greater purpose outweighed their feelings. Yet, when the Father allowed His Son to become human, His sorrow was profound.
As I prepare for the upcoming year, I am mindful that my second-born son will also be heading off to college. We will see how that unfolds, but for now, my wife and I are preparing our hearts for this transition. This is a joyous time for both of our sons as they embark on new adventures. I pray they receive all the blessings that Heaven can bestow upon them in this life and the next. As I navigate through these coming years, I trust that God empathizes with my sorrow, His arm resting comfortingly across my shoulders.
