Judging Me
The more you look at yourself, the less you are looking at God. We live in a new world where practically everyone has a cell phone. The common image of the twentieth century is that of a young person holding their phone up at arm’s length to take a selfie. We are constantly evaluating ourselves to ensure our hair and makeup are in order, or that our clothes are a good fit for the occasion. We have become obsessed with ourselves. We don’t care how God sees us. We only care about how we see ourselves and how others see us.
The reality is, no one cares how we look or if our hair is a mess, because everyone is concerned about themselves. That may sound a little harsh to you, but in reality, people are more concerned about themselves than others. That is the nature of sin, to bring all things to the self rather than giving to others. We live in a self-centered world where everyone has their eyes and cameras pointed at themselves. It is self-perception that must be changed. We must stop looking at ourselves and start looking to God for our image. We were made in the image of God, so rightly our essence and image originated from God, who is the definer of who we are. Our issue is not whether we look appealing or sophisticated; Our issue is trying to recreate and redefine the original image given by God. Our image comes from Him, and that is what we long for at the heart of the matter. However, our sins have distorted the image, and we can no longer see what we were made for. So we end up seeking our image with no direction, and longing to become something we have lost long ago. The image of Christ and his righteousness is the image we are pursuing. To be perfect, holy, and righteous before the holy God.
Anyone who looks at themselves multiple times a day will eventually come to resent and dislike what they see. Our eyes and minds naturally compare our morals and being against the only One whom we can compare ourselves to, the God-man Jesus Christ. Christ is the example of perfection, and all human beings are compared to His righteousness and perfection. 
He is the apex of humanity. He is the mirror through which we must look to gain a clearer picture of who we are. Your identity should be in Christ, not in yourself. When you look at yourself, you will see a sinner. But when you look at Christ, there is hope and a future of what you will look like in heaven. When you look into a mirror, you will only see a reflection of your sinfulness and wickedness. Whether it be through pride and gloating, or hatred and depression, your image reflected is your ugliness. Stop looking in mirrors that reflect your image. Stop looking at yourself if you want to overcome depression. Start looking through the mirror to see Jesus, your purpose and goal in life. When God the Father sees you, He looks upon you through the lens of Christ’s righteousness, meaning, when He sees you, He sees His Son superimposed, covering your life. You are covered in the righteousness of Christ if you have placed your trust in Him, and your sins are forgiven regardless of past, present, or future. When you are looking towards God, your image of God should be Jesus Christ, because you are looking through Him to see and know God. It is only through Christ that we have access to the Father (Eph 2:18).
When was the last time you looked at yourself? Was it this morning as you were getting ready? Recent surveys show that the average person looks in the mirror about 3-4 times daily. According to Reuters, some average around 8-34 times a day, depending on their age and gender (“People Share How They Feel About Their Reflection,” n.d.). It makes you wonder why we are so fascinated with our appearance, which questions our mental state. Are we looking often because we feel unkept or out of order? Or do we forget how we looked since the last time we looked? We look in the mirror because we care about how we look. 
The confusion arises because how we perceive ourselves is always different than how we actually are, and how others see us. In other words, there are three differing views and opinions concerning how you are. We act and behave in a certain way from our upbringing and childhood experiences. We shape and form our morals and values by our experiences, and we have a certain idea of how things should be. Subjective as it may be, it is still a virtue one follows because it touches on their belief system. So our view of ourselves usually originates from our morals and beliefs. We want to live a certain way, or we believe things ought to be a certain way, so we project that life onto ourselves. Every time we do something that reassures our belief system, then we credit ourselves for living up to our expectations. However, our view of ourselves is warped and altered. We tend to overtly inflate our own egos by crediting ourselves with virtues we know we don’t live by. Our actual behaviors, versus how we view ourselves, are always different. Due to the nature of sin and the corrupted heart, we will always make ourselves look better than we are. Our view of ourselves is puffed up and praiseworthy.
When others see us, it is always different than what we thought. We presume our friends and family view us a certain way, because we assess how we are treated by them and determine who we are by how they treat us. 
Are we conforming to what we perceive as their image of us, or are they perceiving us in whatever way we want them to conform to? Others see us differently from how we see ourselves and how we actually are. With so many differing views, it makes you wonder which one is correct. Are we a sum of all three views? I don’t believe so, because our self-perception is always bent and twisted. How we view ourselves will be in the extreme. Either we will really like what we see in ourselves, or we will hate it. If you remember in a previous section, the devil wants you to dwell in the extreme regions. He wants to inflate your ego so you will become prideful or fall into depression, so you will blame yourself. Either way, he wins. Balance is what is needed in viewing oneself. It is necessary to have various views of oneself because we are complex creatures, and one perspective cannot explain the whole of the human mind.
How you perceive yourself is beneficial and helpful, because who knows you more than you? You’ve experienced and seen all sorts of things in your lifetime. There are things no one else knows about you. They are hidden secrets in your heart that you have kept safe for years. If it were to get out, you know people’s perspective of you would change. We care so much about how others view us that we keep hidden what we don’t want them to see. In essence, we are shaping and forming how others perceive us. We want to control our environment and circle of trust by giving them exactly what we deem necessary. So if we are doing this secretly, whether consciously or unconsciously, we are manipulating others’ perception of us. You can see this by how you act in front of different groups and circles.
Everyone has different people they meet and encounter every day. The people we spend time with regularly know us in a certain way. If you have more than one group you spend time with, let’s say church friends, school friends, and family members, they all know you in a particular way. Most would characterize you by similar definitions, but they will never be 100% accurate with each other. 
Why? This is due to the different amounts of information we are willing to give each party. The various groups we have relationships with all have pieces and bits of information about us. What they know about us is through our conversations with them over time. In those conversations, we tell them about ourselves. What we tell is always filtered. They hear and know what we want them to know. I bet you have some people you can tell deep, dark secrets to, while others you keep the information from. Why is that? Because you want to manipulate and control the relationships you have. You are giving them just enough information about you that you feel comfortable with. You are afraid that if they knew that secret about you, they might leave you, or your relationship might change. We want people to know some things about us, while we can share more with others. Usually, a husband and wife will share everything with each other. At the same time, even those who believe they share everything with each other are still holding secrets that they refrain from telling. The balance of the relationship usually hangs in situations like these. How much information you give about yourself is always under scrutiny.
You have a better picture of who you are than most others in the world. That is not to say you know yourself more than others. There can be cases where someone does not pay attention to their actions, or has not done any self-assessment, and does not know themselves. In this case, others examining this person would know more. But apart from that, most people know themselves better than what others perceive of them. They know all they have gone through. Only they know what a difficult life was like for them. They have experienced things no one else knows about, and these things have shaped who they are. We are all part of the same group and race. We are all part of the human race.
You may conclude that you know yourself more than others, and rightly so. That leaves others’ view of you as inaccurate and incomplete. You have not given them all the information about who you are, nor do they know what you have been through. Even if they have heard, they have not experienced it. Their view of you is limited in scope. The limitations are what define our relationship with that person. 
For instance, we tend to share more with family members because, well, let’s face it, we live with them in our earlier years and experience similar things growing up. So members share more with other family members. This connecting bond is what strengthens their relationship. But for those who have teenagers, you will notice that during adolescence, the child may begin to disengage from family and find deeper connections with friends. Teens tend to share more of their experiences with other friends as they discover similar issues and struggles. They find reassurance and comfort knowing another person like themselves is going through the same things. They share with each other personal hurts and pains, finding a deep connection with each other. Their friendship bond seems stronger than family, even though their time with friends together doesn’t amount to the time together with family growing up. The amount of time you share with others determines your relationship with them. Time spent, not only together, but in conversation and communication. Without this intimate bonding, how else does a relationship develop?
We want to present ourselves in a way that makes us appealing to others, so that they will not judge us. The fear stems from being judged by others and the feelings it evokes. We assume others are judging us because we might be unknowingly judging them in our minds. You can see this in some people as they freak out and almost lose it if you tell them they have a piece of food stuck between their teeth. 
Immediately, they grab for a phone or mirror to check out this offensive obtrusion disrupting their perfect image. We see ourselves so often that our time in the mirror eventually shrinks because we develop a routine with our familiarity. We can quickly adjust our ties or put on our makeup while multitasking with three other tasks. We can say we know what we look like. You may ask, then, why do we continually look at ourselves if we are familiar with our appearance? Is it to check if our environment fits our outfit, or do we look out of place? Again, it comes down to fear of judgment from others. Each individual is unique in their way, and most people respect that. In the same light, we see and hear the devil near us, yet we do not recognize him. He is there, accusing us and taunting us to do wrong. He wants us to judge others, so that in return, they would judge us. It is sin being spread through all encounters. The devil is not only after you; he is after everyone you care about. He wants to destroy relationships, and how quickly a relationship can turn the moment someone judges another. It takes years of work to build a relationship, yet one mistake can tear it down to the ground. The devil is out to destroy relationships.
Of all the views there are of ourselves and of others, there is only one view that is always perfect and correct, and that is God’s view of us. There is no one else who knows you more than God. God knows you more than you know yourself. When you come to a fork in the road, you are tasked to make a choice and choose what is best for you. 
God knows what you would choose even before you choose it. God knows this because He knows you intimately. He knows everything about you and what makes you tick. He causes our environment and the world around us to shape and form our lives. We will either be drawn closer to Him or rebel and run far from Him. Our response depends on our relationship with God. The Bible declares God knows even the hairs on our head (Matt 10:29-31). With this intimate knowledge, God shows us who He is in Christ, and shows us who we are by the Ten Commandments. The mirror we are accustomed to viewing is the Laws of God. It convicts, condemns, and pierces our conscience when we view ourselves in the mirror of the Law. But praise be to God our Father, who has shown us a new life and new image in Christ. We no longer have to look at ourselves and the ugliness of who we are. We can look upon Christ, who is our Savior, given by God the Father. We have a hope that we will look and become perfect as we were meant to be.
Judging You
We all have experienced judgment from others. Typically, it begins at a young age, during the elementary years, as children learn to play and socialize with one another. Depending on the environment in which they grew up, the children usually play nicely with each other. However, there is always a time when we hear of a student bullying or making fun of another student for no apparent reason. It could be what they wore that day, or how they smell, but from one day to the next, there is a sudden shift in treatment and behavior. It is possible that the offending student grew up being teased at home and is projecting their deep-seated pain onto others. Or it may be that the student is ignored and is seeking attention, even if it requires hurting someone else. In either case, the offending student has judged the innocent one and has now left a scar that may last a lifetime.
Judgment of others is a quick and easy way to offend God and high-five the Devil. How you treat others is on the top priority list of God’s will for you, and the devil loves to use it to his advantage. When Jesus was questioned what the greatest commandment is, He responded with, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt 22:36-40). The person asked for one great commandment, yet Jesus gave two.
However, Jesus’ point was not to confuse the man, but to teach him that the two are tied together so intricately that you cannot have one without the other. Loving others as yourself is showing love to God. And God shows love to you, so that you will show love to others. God did not send His only begotten Son as a sacrifice for you alone. His sacrifice was for His people, those who have placed their faith and trust in Jesus Christ. Loving others is at the heart of God, and our only given method in showing how much we love God. Many people, including myself, grew up with a notion of love that is mistaken. Many tend to believe love is a feeling, characterized by butterflies in the stomach. In reality, that is an emotional response to something else. Emotions are always a response, and never lead the cause. You can say emotions are the effect, and love is the cause. But are we referring to love as a relationship with another person? That is exactly what love is and how it is generated. It requires a relationship. We take it further by making statements such as, “I love that ice cream” or “ I love playing sports.” These are not love, but heightened interests in inanimate objects and activities. Love can only occur within a relationship. God is love, according to the book of 1st John. If God is love, how does that relate to requiring a relationship for love to exist?
The God of the Scripture is a Triune God, meaning He is Three-in-One. He is not one God revealed in three different modes (Modalism), but One God in Three Persons. They each are distinct from each other, but they are not three Gods.
We believe in One God, revealed in three persons, and each member of the Trinity is distinct from the others. Without going too deep into the doctrine of the Trinity, God in three persons is the perfect, everlasting love relationship that has ever existed throughout all eternity. They are three, and they are One. The family unit is a shadow of this perfect relationship. It is a love bond that cannot be broken. Love requires a relationship, because God is love. The Ten Commandments of God all deal with commands that involve relationships. The first four concern our relationship with God, and the last six deal with our relationships with others. Murder is the ending of a relationship that can never be resolved. This is why murder is such a grave sin. There is no rebuilding after someone is dead. How we love God is determined by how we love others. They are one and the same.
Judgment of others is a grave sin, and we should be aware of how often we judge. We judge others multiple times a day, either verbally or silently. We cut them down and hurt others as if they were nothing at all. However, to God, the judgment of others is equivalent to murder. If you feel it is right to judge others, then you have placed yourself in the position of a judge, and you are determining the fate of another. You are placing yourself in the position of God because He is the only one who can rightly judge.
Sin is sin in the eyes of God, and there is no distinction. All sin is evil, no matter how big or small, and all sin leads to death, even the most minuscule white lie. Sin is the antithesis of holiness. It is doing the thing you should not be doing, and not doing things you should be doing. That may sound confusing, but anything done apart from the laws of God is sin. Holiness keeps the Laws of God; sin betrays it. Judgment is a sin that God detests, yet we do not look upon it as serious. Matthew 5:21-22 says that every time you hate, you have judged another unto death. You may say there is no correlation between the two, but according to Christ, murder is committed every time you judge or speak evil of someone. 
Murder starts in the heart, and that heart must be tamed of its natural inclinations. Thanks be to God’s grace, most of us do not act on that hatred within us. But some cannot control their emotions and commit heinous crimes. No one murders someone without thought and consideration first. Otherwise, it would be considered manslaughter or an accident. Preemptive planning and intention are always a precursor to actual murder being committed. Our hearts are filled with anger and hatred, and the Devil wants to use these emotions to drive us to murder. How many people have you murdered today? When you were driving to work, or waiting for your kids, or waiting for your ride, how many people have you hated and been upset at today? Do you leave a trail of dead bodies along the way? Are people afraid of you because of your temper and anger? They can feel the murderous tension and intent of another’s heart. You can unknowingly feel the judgment from someone else by the look they give or the words they use. We know when someone judges us unjustly, and it cuts deep like a knife driven into our hearts. It is murdering one another.
The devil makes it seem as though you are always in the right. He pushes your pride forward and has you look inward. The devil wants you to be the only priority. He will encourage you and make you feel desired and worthy. You have earned it, you worked hard for what you have, and you deserve what’s coming to you. This person, being allured, does not consider another person. For example, you were mad and upset that the other car just cut you off and risked crashing into you. The devil will say things like, “How dare he drive like that. He almost killed me.” 
Or “These kids drive too wildly, and they are out of control. Someone should punish them so they can learn a lesson.” We are quick to judge others without getting to know them. What if the other car was speeding because he was trying to get to the hospital after hearing his son had been hit by a car? Or maybe a mom who was trying to make her daughter’s play before it ended so as not to disappoint her child. Or perhaps it was someone who just needed to use the bathroom after being stuck in traffic for over two hours. Whatever the case, the one judging does not know the whole circumstance of the other, so they are not in the right to judge. Judgment can only be made by someone who is holy and righteous. If God judges, we know that the judgment is fair and right. No other being in this universe has the right to judge unless given authority by the true Judge. When we judge others, we do so without complete knowledge of the person or situation. The devil likes to paint a distorted picture in our minds so that we will judge. He will whisper things like, “I bet those are kids racing and doing drugs.” Or “Too many illegal people driving around without a license. Only those people drive like that.” He will try to puff you up into the position of a judge so that you can (mentally) murder that individual.
Conclusion
When you judge, you murder, and that is precisely what the evil spirits want you to do: a continual hatred for others and love for oneself. It is isolation and separation from others, which is unbiblical. God did not create this world with isolation in mind. 
He saw that Adam was alone and created Eve as a companion for him. He gave Adam a love relationship that reflects His identity. God’s intent is not to have creation live alone, but live together and work together. God is a relational God, meaning His very nature and being is a relationship. He is the eternal Trinity, the perfect relationship in its purest form. No other relationships compare, and all relationships are modeled after the Triune God. The family unit made up of a father, mother, and child is a type of triune relationship. We are to live with one another and show loving kindness to one another. This is the will and call for all creation in this world, to live with one another and serve each other for the betterment of life. But none of this will occur if the judgment of others is lingering around in our hearts. All judgment and disapproving eyes must be refrained, and trained to look upon others as God sees them, with merciful forgiving eyes.
God knows our faults and sins, yet still does not judge us. God has not judged you, nor will he judge you if you have placed your faith in Christ alone. The judgment that was due you fell on Jesus when He hung on the cross. You are free from the judgment of God. However, those who reject Christ are storing up God’s wrath and judgment in the final days. We don’t see it yet because God is merciful and has not yet judged creation. The end times are when God will bring His final judgment, but until then, we are under the grace and mercy of God’s judgment. If God were to judge you, you would not be here anymore reading this article. The fact that you are reading means God has shown mercy and is waiting for you to repent. Turn to Christ, your only Truth, your only Redeemer, your only Lord. He is willing to take the judgment that was due you and place it on the cross He bore (Matt 25:31-46; Rom 2:5-6). Judge not, lest you be judged (Matt 7:1-2). The Lord took upon himself the judgment, so that you would not be judged by the hand of God, but rather embraced with those hands.
